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So many people. Hundreds seen in a day. Thousands, maybe. A million more beyond the world you know. Every one of them with potential, every one with a heart, and a soul, and a body, and a laugh that could be the counterweight to your own. Everyone but me. It's so exhausting, being used this way. Every time, I think there's a spark, there's something different, there's a chance, there's an opportunity, there's someone here who seems to actually notice I'm alive and not some form of appliance, servant or pet. I'm always wrong. I keep trying. I go through phases. Phases where I send tendrils and messages and carrier pigeons and late-night texts and flowers on the birthday everyone else forgot. Phases where I pull into myself and avoid human contact as much as possible. Neither results in any difference. I am disposable. I'm like a plastic bag on you for that single item at the convenience store, like the tablet of Alka buried in your purse, the one that gathers wife seeking sex tonight FL Saint george isl 32328 so much dust it looks like something alive when the moment finally comes to use it, so you throw it away instead; like a discarded, broken fished out of a wallet and left to rot in the streets. The thing you don't even pretend to want, unless the need is urgent and there's no other option. The thing that you forget about and discard the very second it has outlived it's usefulness to you. It doesn't hurt, anymore. . A few more times, and perhaps I'll be as senseless and unfeeling as that bag, that tablet, that . Not even aware of my status as trash. People say that would leave me inside, but being "alive" inside isn't nearly as exciting as some people think, when you're only there when they need something and are a distant memory or an of scorn the rest of the time. Missed connections, this section says. For myself, I think I would find solace in thinking there had ever been the potential for a connection to miss; the idea that someone, somewhere, looked at me, or heard my voice, or caught my , or brushed my hand when taking a bag or passing a twenty, and thought "Hmmm... what if." The concept that someone, somewhere, had actually wanted a connection with something like me, instead of a quick-fix, a pick-me-up or an of cash or self-esteem. But dreams and wishes are for the living. And I'm apparently not fit to be one of those.
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Hot couples wants sex Looking for online sex mature adult matchs at Cafe amateur swingers. bbw want Jackson skinnedmale. I'm a first time forum poster of any kind so, I apologize in advance for the lack of forum "etiquette", if there is such a thing :o) I'm 29, she's 23. We've been together for about a year and are happy, yet, there are times when I think to myself "I've had better" (Not in the sack haha). Having dated a lot, I feel as though I have a good sense of what I want and whats out there. Being at the prime of my life, I'd like to take full advantage of this time to "catch the best fish" I can and, as Beyonce said, "Put a ring on it"! Haha. My overall muse can be circumscribed as a yearning for information as to whether the following are things that can be overcome, or if I should move on. Concerns: Neither of us come from strong family units. I have dreamt of being part of one since I was a boy in a broken single parent family. I had hoped to into a good family in hopes of looking up to her dad as a father figure of sorts. Her father is a lower functioning factory worker whose close-mindedness hinders his capacity to interact. Her mother is beautiful and intelligent, but ice, ice, ice cold, and not just to me, but to their whole family. They have no reason to despise me; it's as if no one would have been good enough for their daughter. We've spent time with them on a few occassions and I'm still waiting to be "welcomed". I'm working on my Doctorate, she's been working fast food since high school. She's just started university, but fails to show significant effort when it comes to homework and studying. I don't condemn her by any means for her "late booming" or study habits, but I am looking for an educated woman with a degree. Whether it creates personal conflict, or misunderstanding in social situations, immaturity rears its ugly head from time to time. As I mentioned, she works fast food and most of her coworkers are in high school. Considering this, it's not hard to believe that she has some undesirable, almost teenage, tendencies. I sense she is like a wine and get better with age, but is the sense of sophistication and elegance I worth the wait?
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